Black Belt Jones

I know, it's unusual for me to have so many movie reviews up here in such a short period of time, so for those of you who come here for the opinionated blather, move on. Or not. Anyways, last night it was Black Belt Jones (1974), staring Jim Kelly (Enter the Dragon, Three the Hard Way). It was another one of those 'so bad, it's awesome' movies, and it had me smiling for large portions of the film. Let me defer to Wikipedia for the plot synopsis:

The Mafia learns that a new civic center will be built, and they buy all of the land for the site of the building—all except for one place: a karate school owned by Pop Byrd (Scatman Crothers). They arrange to have Pinky (Malik Carter) come by to force Pop to sell his land, but he is killed by them. It's up to the karate school's students to get the hero, Black Belt Jones (Jim Kelly), for help. Sydney (Gloria Hendry), the daughter of the late Pop Byrd, won't sell the building. Because both of them are martial arts experts, they join forces to "clobber the mob".

Ever notice how someone's always 'joining forces' in these films? This one was a hybrid of blaxploitation action and the 'chop-socky' kung -fu genre that was also quite popular at that time (thanks to Bruce Lee's 'Enter the Dragon', which also featured Kelly). The acting and writing were absolutely horrible. The karate choreography was better than that in Three The Hard Way. Kelly obviously has some serious marital-arts skills, that unfortunately don't extend to his acting ability.

Take that, stupid white boy!

This was B-movie/borderline C-movie silliness. A few notables: the badguys are all Italians who sit around, eat spaghetti, and actually say 'Mamma mia.", people who get knocked out by Jones apparently have seizures, as evidenced by the bizzare twitching they do once knocked out, and there are nubile young California beach bimbos who apparently obtain ninja-like qualities from merely jumping on a trampoline all day. And of course, Jim Kelly's karate noises are a hoot, consisting of 'OOoooooooysh' and the 'woobwoobwoob' noises that Curly from the Three Stooges makes. Perhaps he's trying to distract his adversaries with humor, who knows? I'll have to try that next time I'm in a bar fight.

A security camera can be easily deceived by the strategic placement of a Polaroid snapshot. Who knew?

This is another one that was a pan 'n scan Japanese import that I had to get on eBay. It's not available in the U.S., and it is truly our loss.

Betcha didn't know that Isaac the Bartender on the 'Love Boat' was an angry black militant before Captain Stubbing took him under his wing and straightened him out. God bless you, Captain.

All in all, another fantastic horrible movie. Great soundtrack by Dennis Coffy, too. If you can find it, check it out. Here's the trailer to give you a taste...